.. but with whom. My WebLog.
I used to think from time to time, if I have done my part as a good person; a good friend. But recently I'm asking myself if what I've done, or what I intend to do, is for the better, or for worst.
So, ...
A's in army, found his girl. Hardly meet these days, or maybe just the past few weeks. Lesser and lesser each week we would meet up to have a good time chilling at Hilltop.
J's found his too. Same too, hardly meet these days.
So proud of you guys! Hahah proved the Zodiac reading for us Horses right this year. I remember reading it at the start of the year saying our love life would blossom. Looks like its a "yeah right" case for me.
C's been missing from my mind for a very long time. Only recently just caught up. I know it was a bit awkward; but isn't it because we haven't been talking with each other for some time? I just want to say, that you are still an on going chapter in my books and I don't wish to close the chapter up.
R's making me feel a little tad inadequate as a friend. Worst still, I'm supposed to be your best friend. The harder I try the part as a good friend the further you seem to go. Over a guy whom you met not long ago. Over a guy whom you met not long ago and seem to have more in your heart than I do or another individual. It makes me wonder how that guy could actually make such a strong freaking impression in your heart over this short period of time; only thing that comes to my mind is gypsy magic. Impossible, yes that's what I meant to say, not that gypsy magic do exist, or does it? Things that I hear from a certain individual that seeks help in me to salvage what he can't seem to handle. Awful to our ears and we find it hard to believe. We want to ask you why and maybe things are not the way it seems. We want to believe that the image we have in you now isn't the real you, or rather the you that we expect to know. Things that we say yes to, we should do it. Things that you promise someone close to you, you must do it. Things that you promise someone close to you by blood, you shouldn't even be forcing yourself to do; it should be natural to just listen. I feel useless 'losing' to a stranger. When I as a good friend, or the certain individual can't even "psycho" you, and the stranger achieves it with flying colours. All we want is an end to this issue but it just gets longer and longer. Something that could have been done done and gone have now turned into a situation like we have to force things on you. I'm almost done with trying.
Recently my sister spoke to me about how all of this would eventually stop and everyone leads their own lives. I replied almost immediately. "Nononono, no way. Maybe that's what happened to you and your friends, but not mine." Replied strongly and I meant what I say, not just for the benefit of the doubt. I hope to prove my sister wrong.
I like to think back of 'those days' when we have uncountable plans and outings. It has just been more and more countable plans and outings; with lesser and lesser hands required to count. Lol. Pretty sad huh. Looking all of you guys' continuous appearances in my day to day life awhile ago just makes me smile, only now, I just don't want to affirm myself if what everything is happening is going up or down.
I just want you guys to know that all of you mean much to me. Much, as in unmeasurable by any form of units or scale.
Man am I just ghey or what. Lol..
Remembering old times..
